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When I Feel Angry (=) * note to parents * Everybody feels angry sometimes. While we can't avoid the feeling of anger, we can prevent acting in angry ways that hurt others. The distinction between feeling an emotion and acting upon it is important. Helping our children make this distinction and helping them manage their anger without hurting others are among our most important tasks.
We need to teach our children ways to manage uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings. Some ways to manage anger are outlined in this book; you and your children may find others that work for you. Praise and encouragement when your children are successful at recognizing and managing their emotions will reinforce their comfort and feelings of competence.
No matter what we say, children learn most by our example. So we must know how to manage our own angry feelings. Many of us were not helped to do this. Perhaps we learned that expressing our feelings, even our most negative ones, was all that was necessary. Now it's known, however, that simply expressing anger without knowing how to reduce and resolve it can lead to it's escalation and to violence in words and deeds.
When we adults fail to control our own anger and speak or act in hurtful ways, we should apologize and set a better example the next time. In this way we show that we mean what we say. We demonstrate that we value resolving conflicts in ways that do not hurt others, and we and our children increase the possibility of a more peaceful world.
BY - Cornelia Maude Spelman.
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